New York City — Apparently the National Football League seems to be going European. In yet another mark of the beast, the NFL has embraced the measurements of the godless French Revolution.

Starting in the near future, according to a leaked memo released on the Internet earlier this week, chairman Robert Goodell plans on converting America’s most American sport into the metric system.

Yards and inches will something of the past. And you better get used to longer downs as 100 meters is considerably longer than 100 yards.

Is this some kind of new invasion of non-American, godless values? You betcha. Next look for the metric system at your gas station and on the speed limits on the road. America, the end is near.